Consent

Understanding Consent and Your Legal Rights After Sexual Assault

Victims of sexual assault often express concerns about their legal options, and if the law is on their side. I assure you, it is. The Law of Consent is very clear. If you did not consent to a sexual act, you are a victim and deserving of justice.

What is Consent?     

Consent means you are acting of your own Free Will. The basis of all sexual assault is the absence of Free Will. Under Free Will you are aware of, a willing participant of, and able to control your situation. In other words, you are not trying to figure out how to get out of a situation, nor fearful or forced. Many victims feel uncomfortable that they did not try to block or escape sexual advances, but most often they have been made to feel that doing so would worsen the situation.  This is known as coercion, which I will explain below.

Free Will in a sexual situation means you are voluntarily participating, knowledgeably, without having been “talked into it.” It means you are sober at the time you consented, and that you have consented to every sexual act; not just the first or a different act, and that were not afraid to say “No.”

If you were not confident or enthusiastic, or were unaware of what was going to happen, you did NOT consent. For example, if you were passionate, kissing and happy, but your partner started to go further and ignored your attempts to pull away; you were NOT consenting. Or, if you were served a few drinks, or provided a drug, and found yourself in a sexual situation that you had not wanted or expected, you did not consent, by law.

I have spent decades working with victims who did not consent to sexual advances, actions or attacks, and I assure you, any questions you have about whether or not it was “by your consent” are worth a discussion.

Informed Consent

Informed consent requires partners know what is going to happen and have the fair, respectful opportunity to decline. It ALSO means that partners are aware of each other’s STI status, as well as methods of birth controls. Consent is about honesty and trust, as the very basis of a consensual sexual experience.